And The Winner Is.....

The following is an exerpt from yesterday's 1st ever Danny's Malignant Cancer Award Show that took place at Sloan-Kettering Hospital in gorgeous New York City. It was hosted by Danny's Belly Button and most of his body parts attended. On with the show:

Belly Button: The nominees for Cancer In Danny's Body are: 1) Marginal Zone Lymphoma in "His Bone Marrow Said It May Be Me". 2)Follicular Lymphoma in "I Was Present In Two Lymphnode Biopsy's". 3) Butt Cheek Cancer in "His Ass Is So Big There Has To Be a Tumor In It" and finally 4) Fingertip Cancer in "They Stopped Growing And Are Disproportionate To The Rest Of His Hand". And the award for Cancer In Danny's Body is................FOLLICULAR LYMPHOMA!

Follicular Lymphoma: Wow, this is crazy. When I was first mentioned as a leading candidate for the award I have to say I wasn't completely surprised since I'm the second most common form of Lymphoma in the world, but to beat out a nice push by Marginal Zone was a treat and seeing how big Danny's butt cheek is has really given me a sense of accomplishment. I'd like to thank Danny's White Blood Cells, specifically his lymphocytes, for abnormally dividing one day and giving birth to me. Although doctors have no clue why this happens, it did and here I am and it turns out I'm currently the only cancer in Danny's body, which is good for Danny but gives me nobody to talk to or watch Grey's Anatomy with. For those who aren't too familiar with me I'm a B-Cell Indolent (Slow Moving) Cancer that is currently at Grade 1 (small cell) and at around Stage 3 in my progression. Although, to be modest, Stage 3 with me is not the same as Stage 3 with other cancers like Lung or Breast. For me, there's virtually no difference between Stage 2 and Stage 4. You may be asking if I'll be winning this award every year and if I'm here to stay. I can tell you that I'll try like heck to stick around and, if at all possible, make things worse for my host Danny, but there are a couple of bastards at Sloan-Kettering that think they can control me for a long time. What sucks for me is that I ran this town wth nobody challenging me until about 10 years ago when a breakthrough in treatment occured and then about 5 years ago another one did. There's no current data following people Danny's age long term since these drugs came out, but in a study that started following people diagnosed and who had treatment initiated in the 80's, it would be about 16-20 years before I really try to eat away at Danny's organs like an unstoppable rebel force (Meet The Parents, 2000). What I've got on my side is that I'm unpredictable, very much unlike Virginia Tech's offense. I have no clue how I'm going to react to different treatments, how long I'll stay in retirement before coming back after treatment or if I'll one day decide to morph in to another type of cancer like Steve Urkel morphing in to Stephan on Family Matters. Traditionally, I'll go away with chemo and some medicines and then come back, it's just that I don't know when I will. What my greasy, hairy Italian host has in his favor are the two greatest factors in prediciting long term survival... Age and Health. He's young and outside of his waistline, he's healthy. Well, the Chest Hair Symphony is playing and I'm being told to wrap things up, so I can't wait to put this award on the shelf in Danny's Bone Marrow. Thank you again.


Side Notes: Hopefully you understood everything in the acceptance speech. Follicular Lymphoma is not the same in any two people so it's very difficult to give a prognosis without a lot of visits to the doctor. I'll be getting CT Scans and Blood work every 3 months (My first 3 month check-up is 11/1) and whenever something looks out of whack, I'll go on treatment. They said I'm about 80% there as far as needing treatment and would expect me to need it in the next few months. Follicular Lymphoma is very very unpredictable and you can only kind of go by generalizations such as: It generally doesn't turn to another cancer, it generally reacts well to chemo, etc.) It's genuinelly a wait and see type of cancer. SO, I'll know more on 11/1 and I plan on writing a blog in the next few weeks on what the different types of biopsy's feel like. Till next time...