Talk About Your All Time Backfires

So I'm sure most of you hear that you lose weight when you go on Chemo. I never knew why you lost weight, but found out that it's generally because you feel so shitty that you don't feel like eating all that much or drinking alcohol. That pretty much takes away my pleasures in life (outside of Rhythmic Gymnastics, Nicholas Sparks books and Shoe Making). SO, I thought I was going to be on Chemo for a while and, even though it would suck, it would be a phenomenal diet. I figured I had about a month and a half to eat however much and whatever I wanted and to drink whenever possible. This equaled roughly 12 pounds in almost two months. I'm probably 5 pounds away from having that really loud breathing that Tony Soprano has when he's talking or even just thinking. THEN I go to the doctor and he says I'm probably not going to go on Chemo right away and that I really need to get in shape. When I told him my original plan, he begged me to stop. I may request Chemo, or find a guy in the South Bronx willing to sell me some, just for the ease of things. If Anna Nicole Smith was still alive, I'd love to see the TrimSpa diet commercial with her in it but saying, "It's Chemo Baby!". Oh well, I'm going to go eat my bean sprout and cottage cheese sandwich.